Burn on the flame...

Last weekend I lit a bonfire, and in the process of doing so, slipped out of my slim leather, enviro-loafers and into a pair of size 11, carbon footprint-kicking, industrial boots. Four hours of stoking embers eventually burnt away 18 months of accumulated garden waste and any greenhouse goodwill I had acrued.

With the amount of smoke that bonfire produced it won't matter how many plastic bags I recycle or how often I defer jet flight for train travel in the future - I fear that my eco-account will always remain in the red.