On the darkside...

How do you tell the difference between an EMO and a Goth? My mate Ben reckons it's easy - the EMO is the one rolling on the ground being kicked by the others. Last Saturday we took the boys down to the Concorde II in Brighton for a Greenish Day gig and our boys were accused of being on the wrong side of the alternative cult genre. I think her exact words were 'Oi, EMO', in a slightly condescending manner.

Talk about the kettle calling the pot black - they all looked the same to me. However, I was reliably informed by my cultural advisor, Ben, that to the trained eye there was a significant difference between the various tribal factions that made up the orderly, but sullen queue. Sure, they all wore black. Yes, they also all seemed to have smudged their eyeliner and they all looked a little depressed, but I still couldn't confidently categorise most of them.

I thought about sneering 'Oi EMO' at the crowd, just to see who turned around, but that would have only attracted more attention to the fact that I was the only one over 40 years of age and not wearing black. If we looked a little tougher we might have been mistaken for security, but to be honest with you a lifetime of desk-work gave us away for what we really were - a middle-aged Publisher and thirty something IT Director trying to prop up the bar as their kids hit the moshpit.