Life in the fast lane...

If given the choice, I probably wouldn't volunteer to speak in front of 1,200 people. However, when the CEO delegates the task to you - you have little choice but to start rehearsing. I arrived early to stand on the stage and get a feel for the place - it was already a little intimidating - and the place was still empty.

I and my fellow presenters had that over-alert, far too confident look that you adopt when in actual fact you are shitting yourself. Fortunately, by the time I climbed the steps to the microphone, the stage was already littered with the grotesque, twisted bodies of badly prepared and poorly delivered speeches. It's amazing how you can thrive off the misfortune of others!

Things started off well. I was confidently striding into my 4th slide and the crowd seemed to be engaged in my topic matter, but then something went horribly wrong. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion.....

I watched aghast as one of my wheels began to wobble (the slide deck stalled), the steering shuddered (I lost track of where I was up to on my notes) and then the tyre just flew off (I skipped a slide and paused for a moment as I tried to regather my composure). If I didn't regain control immediately I was going to hit the wall - there were terrified faces staring up at me from the crowd as I wrestled the presentation back onto the road.

Skidding sideways and applying the handbrake I ejected my notes and took the gamble to ad lib - within a few minutes I crossed the finish line to the applause of the crowd. That was close....I was very nearly cut from the wreckage of my own notes.....