I'm sorry (honestly)...

I knew I was in trouble the moment she answered the telephone. I was running half an hour late and now I was faced with an ethical dilemma. Should I:

a) Tell her that the car wouldn't start
b) Blame my delay on heavy traffic and roadworks.
c) Tell her that there had been a bomb threat and police had cordened off the car park
d) All of the above

I had been enjoying a good chat with an old friend and had genuinely lost track of time. But 'Oh, sorry - I'll leave right away' only seemed to antagonise the situation. It became apparant immediately that no amount of reckless driving was going to retreive this situation, so I turned up the car stereo and cruised towards my fate.

The easy option would have been to lie. Let's not call it a lie. Let's just call it a fib. None the wiser and no one gets hurt. However, I seem to have an inability to do this - it must be my Lutheran upbringing. Anyway, my voice gives me up every time. A stuttering, hesitant, lame excuse isn't going to convince anyone.

Perhaps I'm not alone. I read somewhere that in Japan they've created the 'alibi booth'. It's a sound proof booth (usually found in a bar) where the 'guilty' person can purchase some assistance in convincing a 3rd party (usually their wife) that they are not half-pissed in some dodgy drinking hole, but are in fact detained elsewhere.

The alibi is constructed with the aid of recorded background noises. For example, the person (let's call him David, so we don't incriminate anyone) can slip into the 'alibi booth' select 'hospital', insert his money into the slot and call his loved-one...confident in the knowledge that it will sound like he is in the casualty ward of the local hospital.

'Sorry dear, but I'm running a little late ('paging Doctor Suzuki'). That idiot John has twisted his ankle walking (sound of sirens) down the fire escape. I've had to drive him up to the local hospital (muffled screams in the background). I'll be home as soon as I can'.

Maybe there is a market for this initiative outside Japan...